Friday, December 18, 2009

3 years ago my life changed forever

December 18, 2006..............................2009. It really doesn't seem like 3 years has gone by since Wendy died. I can remember this day as clearly as it just happened. The pain I felt, the throbbing pain that tore through my entire body putting me into shock.....was like nothing I have experienced before. It's like someone just took a knife and slit you wide open and your world comes crashing down..........

When I came face to face with my sister's, my grandparents, my mom, my brother, my dad, Wendy's children - we all had that sad, unforgettable look in our eyes - we all shared the same pain. We all lost someone very dear to us. We all became part of the "club"....the one that you don't want to be apart of.

I carry that sadness with me, deep down inside and today I let it rise up and I accepted the fact that it still hurts to think of my sister and the senseless way in which she died.....so easily prevented ---- It's hard not to think that way - to wonder "what if" or "if only". I realize that nothing can bring my sister back. The memories I have over the 40 years we were sisters, are enough to last me my entire lifetime - however long that may be!

Today the tears came easily. I didn't try and wipe them away. I let them flow. I let them stream down my face and I remembered the pain of December 18, 2006. It happened. It hurt. I'm healing......every year, I heal a little more......Thank you for remembering my sister. Please make a comment if you want to. I know her children (Brandon and Breana) take great strength away from reading the words of others who knew their mom. They both loved Wendy so much and she loved all 3 of her kids unconditionally.

I take a deep breath and I sit in the sadness..............

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