December 18, 2006 will forever be imprinted in my mind....it's the day I lost my little sister and it's the day my life changed forever!
Wendy lived in Salt Lake City and was driving to work in the early morning of December 13th. She was dropping her 16 year old daughter off at her friends house before heading in to work. As she was about to enter an intersection the light turned yellow. There was a car coming towards her into the intersection and turned right in front of her - causing Wendy to slam on her breaks as she hit the car (she was only going about 35 miles an hour). The other driver was given a ticket at the scene. Wendy shattered her right ankle and was taken to the hospital. She was very worried about her daughter as she was 7 months pregnant. She really didn't consider her injury very serious.
My mom had called everyone in the family to let us know Wendy had been in a minor accident and was at the hospital. I called and talked to her that night. She was in good spirits, saying that she was more worried about her daughter Breana than herself. She text me a picture of Breana's face, which was bruised from the air bag going off. I asked her how long she was going to be in the hospital and she said, "Only a couple of days."
They did surgery on her ankle the next morning, putting several pins in her foot and ankle - they basically had to re-construct her ankle! She said she was feeling pretty good, but was still worried about Breana and her unborn child. The doctors said Breana was fine - so she went to stay at a friends house. For the next 3 days, I talked to Wendy everyday. She said she had a lot of visitors and that it was so nice to see everyone. She was also worried about her 3 kids and Christmas, because she hadn't finished her shopping and now she was stuck in the hospital. I told her not to worry about it, and that we would take care of the kids. She thought it was weird they were keeping her in the hospital so long, but she always kept a positive spirit about her.
Wendy had a great sense of humor and we used to laugh a lot. She commented that she kept seeing White Rabbits running around her hospital room (we all knew it was just the medication she was on!!). On Sunday, December 17th - I called Wendy to discuss the finale that night for Survivor - she really wanted Ozzy to win. I told her that I was going to fly out after Christmas and come see her for New Years. She was being transferred over to a rehabilitation center to recover for a few weeks......she was excited and made it sound like it was going to be like going to a spa ;). She joked that she wouldn't be able to dance on New years, but she could probably get a handicap parking sticker so where ever we went, we could park up front! She was so funny!
I told Wendy that I loved her (as I did every time I talked to her) and asked her to page me in the morning when they released her. I wanted to send flowers over to the Center. She said she would and we hung up.
On Monday morning December 18th, I was doing an interview for one of my managers. I noticed that my cell phone kept vibrating and I assumed Wendy had been released and had text me. I ignored it. Finally one of my co-workers came in and interrupted the interview saying that I had an emergency phone call in her office. My first thought was that one of my grandparents had died (they were 90 years old). I picked up the phone and I heard my older sister Kari's voice, "Wendy is dead Tracy. She died this morning!"......I started shaking my head and telling my sister no. There is no way she could be dead. I had just talked to her the night before, she was being released this morning....there has to be a mistake. She only broke her ankle......
Kari explained that the doctor had come in to check her out and had release her that morning. They were helping her up into the wheel chair and she fell back against her pillow. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at the doctor jokingly and said, "That was weird, does that always happen?" They said yes, that some times a patient get's dizzy from being in bed for so many days. They sat her up again and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She fell back again, but this time she did not open her eyes...... They called in a code Blue - Wendy had stopped breathing! They worked on her for an hour, bringing her back 3 times, but she didn't make it.
She had was it called a P.E.- pulmonary embolism- a blood clot. It had worked it's way up from her ankle injury over the past 5 days and it exploded in her aorta (heart) when they sat her up and killed her instantly. She didn't even know what hit her....... 40 years old. Perfect health. Gone.
How can this happen? This isn't right......she didn't need to die. She didn't have cancer, she didn't have poor health. She was at the prime of her life - with so much ahead of her.......
I have never felt so much pain in my life. I had never lost anyone close to me (my grandparents are still alive). It was as if someone took my heart and ripped it out, tore a chunk out of it and put it back......something was missing.......I had a hole in my heart. My sister Wendy was such an important person in my life. There wasn't a week that would go by that we didn't talk.....we had children the same age, had been through everything together - Just 4 months earlier we had all been together for her 40th birthday. The picture at the top of this blog showing the 4 sisters was the last picture we have of us. Who knew?
I am dedicated to keeping my sister's spirit alive by helping others. My sister's death taught me to live each day in the PRESENT. There is no guarantees that there will be a tomorrow. Laugh and smile each day....... tell the people you love that you love them - everyday!
Even though it was been almost 3 years - the shock of her death still resonates in me.....I still find myself wanting to call her and talk to her. Survivor just started again.....she would have loved it! I have to remind myself to keep smiling, keep living....it's what she would have wanted for me.
Thanks for sharing this story. I cried during it because it brought back my memories of that morning, December 18, 2006. I remember I was working for UPS at the time to pick up some extra cash during the holidays. It felt like a normal day, I was getting packages from my delivery driver and delivering them to offices around downtown Salt Lake. Then I remember receiving a phone call from my dad. I didn't answer it because I was delivering a package. I came back to the UPS truck and immediately started shaking for some reason. I felt such physical unsteadiness for some reason. It's hard to explain but I knew she wasn't okay. I knew my mom was hurt because my dad usually didn't call me during this time. I got a voicemail from him and I listened. It said something like, your mom is not doing well and she needs you in the hospital. Go there right away. I was shaking still but trying to hold it all in because the driver was coming down to give me the next package. I told him I had to go because my mom was not doing well in the hospital. He could tell I was shaken up and dropped me off at my car right away. I drove home, getting calls from people, but didn't have the courage to answer the phone because, somehow, someway, I knew what the news was. I was just sobbing uncontrollably in the car at this time. Staring in front of me at the road, just sobbing, asking why? A lot of memories came splashing into my head of my mom. Our thanksgiving dinner together, her laughing, her smile, her hair, her eyes. I remembered each detail of her and the thought of her being gone was just so much to handle. It was like a huge stone was unleashed upon my head, the weight was so hard to take on. I wasn't one of those people, right? The ones that lose their mom. Oh, so many tears.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother called again. I knew I had to answer this time. I was still sobbing but stopped so I could answer. She said "Your mom died." I remember her saying it in such a delicate way. Her voice trembling, but yet strong, because she knew that she had to tell her baby grandson something that was so excruciatingly hard, but didn't want to let him down and kept strong to tell me the news. I just listened and cried. I couldn't really say anything. I didn't know what to say. She poured out the details, at least all she knew at the time. I didn't really care about the details. It was odd. I felt my mom's presence leave before anyone called me or before anyone told me. I sort of had to deal with that, her being gone, before I could even think about details. The details were miniscule compared to the things I wanted to remember her by. I wanted to remember her by the perfume she wore everyday and by the way she parted her hair in the morning, I wasn't concerned about the details of her dying, those just made her feel so foreign. How can I picture my mother dying? It's just hard. So instead I kept myself steady, thinking about what she was. Her beautiful image sparkling in my head, the tears dripping down my cheeks.
I finally arrived at the hospital. I parked feverishly and rushed in to the entrance. I was told what floor she was on and arrived as soon as I could. I remember rushing through the doors and having all these people rush over to me. I shut them out. I just wanted to know where my mom was. The crowd of nurses/social workers whisked me off to this room. It was a room filled with all my family. My sister, dad and brother were all crowded around sobbing. My dad immediately came over to comfort me. I hugged him and told him "I know". He was trying to say my mom died but I just knew. At this point my tears turned into determination. I wasn't crying, I just wanted to see my mom. The doctor was there trying to explain what happened, the social worker was there trying to say it would all be okay, the nurse was there saying how great she thought my mom was. All of it was noise. Noise I didn't want to hear. They didn't just lose a mom. They have no clue what I'm going through. I remember seeing my sister, she was shouting. She said "WHY? Why did this have to happen?" She kept on bringing up that she was just alive. That she was just here. I was right by her last night. I remember little Riley just sobbing next to my dad. Not even knowing what to think of it all. His little face buried in my dad's. It was so hard to look into his eyes. I couldn't see that innocence hurt so bad. I gave him a hug. "Is mom really dead" he asked. Yes. She was. I told the nurse I was ready to see my mom. I couldn't stand in this room any longer, just so much pain filled it, I wanted to escape and just be with my mom.
ReplyDeleteThe nurse took me to her bed. She was so cold. I remember that's the first thing I noticed. Everything around was numb and dull. No senses, no warmness. The coldness. Not only in the way she felt, but also everything around her, so cold. No spirit, nothing of anything, just cold. I remember praying next to her bed. I don't know why but I immediately came to my knees right beside her and prayed. It's something I don't do often, but found I needed her or at least someone to talk to. I prayed that she by okay and that I loved her. It gave me a weird closure to things, a reason to see her as a memory of who she was, my mother, and not whose body she was sitting beside me.
ReplyDeleteI remember my sister came in after me. She got on the bed right beside my mother's body and was sobbing, poking and pruding, trying to wake her up. It's over, I thought. She's gone and there's nothing anyone can do. She just laid there sobbing and I watched as people entered. I stood by my mom's body. Looking down at it. The shell just there. It was odd. Of course I wanted her back, wanted her by me, but not as this, this shell. Her spirit was somewhere else, somewhere happier than this. My brother came in timid, not really understanding all that was happening. I brought him over and told him not to be scared. It was a scary thing. But still, I didn't want him to be scared. I held him close and hoped he understood how much his mother loved him.
What a beautiful life she lived. I miss her every day and always think about her. There are days where I feel her guiding me and I thank her. She's definitely somewhere close and I appreciate her every wink and smile. I love you mom.
Thanks for sharing this Auntie. I can't remember the last time I really thought about that day. The hurt and pain. The tears and torture. It's so hard to relive it, but it's so necessary to grow. I love you.
Brandon
Brandon, your words, your memores are so dear and precious. I'm glad you took the time to write them down and share them in this blog. It will help others to grieve for their loss. I love you dearly and know that your mom does guide you and watch over you every day. She was always so proud of you and I know she would be really proud of the young man you have become!
ReplyDeleteAll my love,
Auntie Tracy
Wow, I never thought the memories of this day would come back so vividly. As I read Brandon's description of the time in the hospital it brought back flashbacks of my time there. I remember picking Breana up the night before and we were all laughing about Wendy beating the old folk in Bingo at the rehabilitation center. I will never forget the last thing I heard Wendy say. "2007 will be my year." I love you Wendy<3 I think about you a lot and still sometimes cuddle with that teddy bear you gave me for one of my birthdays. Thank you for being a second mom to me and letting me into your home, family and most of all...your heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you both for sharing your experiences. I love you both and you two often cross my thoughts as well. Along with the rest of your family. It's so nice to see everyone keeping Wendy's spirit, laughter and joy so strong! I have so many stories and memories with Wendy, I replay them in my mind when I need a good laugh. She will forever light up the lives she touched. And that's what makes an angel.
The morning of December 13th 2006 my mom and I were off to our normal route, drop me off at at Rachael's house to get a ride to school and than she would be off to work.
ReplyDeleteAs we crossed an intersection the traffic light had turned yellow and a lady turning left thought it was her right away and pulled out directly infront of us. I just remember seeing the car coming and my mom's right arm reaching across my body. As I heard the sound of the screeching of the breaks and the monsterous sound of the collision my airbag exlpoded and everything went black - and a smell, a weird smell that to this day I still cant forget. As I came back and realized what had just happened I noticed my mom and I had slid of onto the curb on the side. I remember my mom freaking out looking at my face thinking that my head had gone into the windshield. She just kept asking if I was okay and I told her I felt okay that my face just felt really swollen. My mom looked at me very calm and said, "Bree, I can't feel my legs," I started freaking out and looking around looking for help, someone that could help her. She remained very calm and asked me to call my grandma and let her know that we had got into a car accident. I called my grandma and let her know.
Everything felt like a dream and happened so fast, all a sudden all I could hear was sirens and I could see firemen gathering aroud the car. My door was caved in so they went to my mom's side first and all I can remember was my mom yelling, "Help my daughter! Help my daughter, she's 7 months pregnant!" I argued back telling them to help my mom she couldn't feel her legs.
The firemen had taking my mom first and she was rushed right away in the ambulence. They finally got me out of the car and I was taken in the fire truck to the hospital. When I arrived at the hopsital I still haden't seen my mom, I kept telling the nurses I wanted to see my mom. They took me into a room that my mom was in and I could see her just sitting on the hospital bed, still calm but I could see the fear in her eyes, as I went in there she looked at me and said, "Oh, Bree your face. I'm so sorry." I sat beside her and she told me that she had completely shattered her right ankle and her left kneecap was cracked and she would be going into surgery.
As she went into surgery I stayed in a room where they monitored me and the baby to make sure everything was okay. As the day went by they said that I was released, my mom was out of surgery and I could go down and see her in her room. The hospital was not very full at the time so they said it would be okay to stay there in the room with my mom until I couldn't anymore. So the next few days I stayed in the hospital and watched my mom as she went through her physical therapy and all the visitors came by. She kept telling me that even though my face looked horrible that she would rather have that than what happened to her legs.
Sunday the 17th of December I left the hospital to go with Rachael to her house so I could get up and go back to school. I remember right before we left the hospital we were just laughing with my mom about how she felt like she was going to an old folks home and would be playing bingo with them. I remember it took a lot for me to leave the hospital that night- I had made that room my new room the past 5 days- all the nurses knew my mom and I.
I went to sleep that night ready to get back to school and never would have expected the horror that I was going to come across the following morning that would change my life forever.
Monday morning, the 18th of December 2006, I woke up just like any other day got ready for school and headed off. My mom had told me the night before that she would be leaving that morning to the rehab center and she would call me as soon as she got there. I remeber at school I had my phone with me through first period and than went to second. I was doing a project away from my desk and I had left my phone at my desk with everything else. About a half an hour into my 2nd period a office helper came into my class room and looked at me as she handed the note to my teacher. I got up assuming that the note was for me and walked up to my teacher, she told me that I had to go to the office right now to accept a important phone call. I grabbed my phone and headed to the office as I was walking I was looking at my phone and saw all these miss calls, from my dad, my grandma, even my mom's best friend. I walked into the office and just the look on all the ladies faces, I knew something was wrong, they took me into a private room with a phone and told me that I had a call. I walked in got on the phone and I heard my mom's friend say "Bree, something is going on we're on our way to pick you up to take you to the hospital." I got off the phone just clueless about what was going on. I got another call from my dad, as I answered it, I could hear my dad's voice, "Breana, Cindy and Craig are on there way to take you to the hopspital, you need to get there as soon as possible -your mom has gone into cardiac arrest." I said okay and hung up the phone. I didn't know what cardiac arrest was, I had heard of it but had no clue what it ment. Last thought in my mind was that she could die - my mom wouldn't die. she's my mom, she's so young, I'm so young, that was my last thought. As I walked out the class period had just finished and I ran into Rachael and told her I was leaving to the hospital that my mom went into something called cardiac arrest. She had no clue what it was either.
ReplyDeleteCindy and Craig pulled up and I hopped in the car. It was silent and I then Cindy had asked me if I heard from anyone, I told her I talked to my dad. We got to the hospital and I walked in went up the elevator. As we got to the floor I walked as if I was going into the room as I walked pass the nurses that I knew they grabbed me and asked me to go into a room where someone could explain to my what was going on. I remember walking with them and asking them if I could just go see my mom real quick. They led me into the room as soon as I walked in I saw my dad, my little brother, Cindy and her husband. As I sat down a doctor came in and started talking I couldn't understand what he was saying it sounded like jibberish, I just wanted to see my mom. All a sudden I picked up the last part, "I'm sorry, we tried everything we could to revive her." as that sentence came out I looked around the room and I could see was tears. I looked at my dad him holding my little brother and looked at me and said, "Breana she's gone." "WHAT?!?! No she's not, I was just with her she was okay. No, No!" I got up and the nurses said that they'd take me to her. As I got up and started walking out the door, I felt dizzy I remember the nurse telling someone to get me a wheel chair so i didn't faint and hurt the baby. I didn't want a wheel chair I wanted my mom. I wanted to see her. As we entered the room I remember seeing the her laying there. Memories of us laughing the night before were running through my head. "This has to be a dream, wake up! Wake up Breana!" I got out of the wheel chair and climbed onto the bed with my mom. I just remember sobbing and waiting for her to open her eyes waiting for a breath, anything. I kept telling her to wake up. I didn't believe it. My mom, my mom is gone, No this can't be she can't leave me, she promised me everything would be okay, this isn't okay! We were laughing last night together, she was just fine. What was I going to do without my mom. Everyone was looking at her, tears running down. No, she's not dead, why does everyone think she's dead, she's not, no way- it's impossible- my mom can't die, my mom wouldn't die when her children are so young! I need her still.
ReplyDeleteAs the day went on I laid there next to my mom, just hugging her and waiting to wake up from this awful dream. More and more people started showing up, I still just laid there and wasn't going to move 'til I had to.
The day was coming to an end. The nurses arrived and told me that they were going to have to take her. I was still waiting to wake up. As I got of the bed I kept a hold of her hand. Waiting for her to hold mine back, It never happened, she was gone.
My life has been so different since that day, filled with so many struggles and pain. I will always carry my mother in my heart and she'll always be with me.
ReplyDeleteThank you Aunty Tracy, this page has really helped me to open up about my pain. I love my mom, miss her every day. Yet, I am so thankful that she is in a better place, she's up there looking beautiful and will now be able to watch over me wherever I go.
Love you,
Bree
(Wendy's lil girl)
Bree I know it was hard for you to write down your thoughts, but I want to thank you for doing it. We all have our stories to share about those days that took away the part of our heart. It makes us all know the drama and pain you went through. You are right Breana , your mom is watching over you and she is where she wants to be wrapped up in our Saviors love. I love you my precious granddaughter and I am so proud of the person you are becoming.
ReplyDeleteThank you Tracy, for starting this “Angel Wings” for Wendy. As I was reading Both yours & Brandon’s; memory of that day, tears filled my eyes & I started breathing so fast, I honestly started feeling the emotion all over again. Wendy’s death effected all of us and to read the words from you , Brandon, and now Breana’s lets me know how you were effected.. I thank you all for sharing those words, I too feel the need to share with you my feelings.
ReplyDeleteI remember so clearly getting a call from, Breana at around 5:30 in the morning, on December 13. I remember the date as it was Dustin’s daughter, Cassity’s birthday I said “Good morning!” Breana said “Grandma.....we’ve been in a car accident” I immediately said “Are you OK” because of her being almost eight months pregnant. She said “Yes but I think Mom broke her leg, she can not walk.” Then proceeded to tell me, they had just entered an intersection when a car turned out in front of them. I asked if her Mom was speeding and she said “ No, there was a police car next to us but he turned right. I figured that the police must have heard the crash because he turned around and the sighted the other driver, who was a Spanish woman.
Wendy knew the policeman because he use to be in their ward. I asked to talk with her mom. I could hear her talking and laughing so I knew she was OK. Breana said “Mom said she will call you when we get to the hospital. So I got off the phone with her and waited to call my four other children. I told them that Wendy & Bree had been in an accident but were both fine, a bit knocked around but Wendy broke her ankle and may need surgery.
I wondered how it was going to be at Christmas time, and because, this was the first time Wendy would have all three of her kids with her for Christmas since her divorce, and they were coming to spend it here.. As Soon as the surgery was over I asked to talk with the Doctor to see how soon we could fly Wendy here for Christmas. I figured if we flew Wendy in, Brandon could drive Breana & Riley. The Doctor told me that , she would not be able to do anything for about six weeks, because her ankle was shattered and had to have 11 screws & two plate. After she gets out of the hospital she will be in a rehabilitation center for about six weeks.
I started to figure out my situation on what to do about Christmas and got a call from Brandon saying “Hi Grandma is it OK if I still come for Christmas ?” I said “Of Course Brandon you are always welcomed to come for Christmas!” I told him I thought I would ride back with him so I can spend some time with his Mom.. I then started getting together a box to sent to Wendy & Breana. Let see I can buy her some fun tops to wear in bed, footies, a good pillow, bathrobe, digital camera, Oh yes! and the book “Remembering Wholeness”, a personal handbook for thriving in the 21 century by Carol Tuttle. She really was going to need it. I had talked with Wendy’s Bishop’s wife about Wendy being in a rehabilitation center on Christmas and she said “ Why don’t you send us the package and we will deliver it Christmas eve.” I thought What a wonderful person she was and excepted her offer. Each time I would talk with Wendy someone was there to visit and she was sad she wasn’t coming for Christmas. When the Bishop & his wife came for a visit , she asked them if she were to give them some money could they get something for her kids for Christmas. They said they would. I don’t know if that ever happened.
ReplyDeleteFriday night we had our Ward Christmas Dinner and I gave out invitations for our Empty Nester Christmas Party, which was Monday Dec. 18 at 7:00 at our house . One of my friends said “Patti we are running down to Utah for the week-end would you like to go with us to see your daughter? I said “I would love to but I have so much to do to get ready for Christmas.” I wish I would have thought more about going to see Wendy, and not think about how much I had to do. If there is one thing I could change in my life I would change that decision. I would loved to have taken Wendy in my arms one more time and tell her I love her. Saturday was a busy day for me getting more Christmas shopping done and getting ready for our Christmas Party. Wendy was suppose to have moved to the center on Friday but something came up and they said she would have to be there until Monday.
On Sunday night, she said to me “Mom, I don’t think we should wait til after the baby is born to move up; I think we need to move up as soon as we can, because I won’t be able to help Breana. I told her I thought that was the best. I was looking forward having Wendy around. She had been living close by me most of her life and when she was gone I really missed her.
ReplyDeleteOn Sunday in Relief Society we have what we call the “Good News Minute” if anyone had good news they are asked to share it. I raised my hand and said “My daughter & granddaughter were in a car accident and the good new is my daughter only broke her ankle and my granddaughter got banged up a bit but they are both OK.”
On Monday 18th was our grandson Caleb’s birthday, I knew I needed to remember to call him. I woke up early as I knew I had to get Wendy’s package in the mail. And pick up some things for the Christmas Party that night. I had already I put in the box some cute little Christmas things to decorate her new room. I called Wendy to tell her I was getting her package out to her today and to let me know where she would be . She did not have time to talk because her therapist was coming into teach her how to get from the bed to the wheelchair. I told her to call me when she could, and I said “ Love ya “ and hung up the phone.
I had decided to go over to K-Mart and pick up this nice robe I had seen, so I could it put in her box. I then ran by the place I was going to mail it, to see what time I had to get Wendy’s box to her to mail out that day. I did mailed allot through her, she knew Wendy was coming for Christmas, I told her about Wendy being in the car accident. We talked for awhile and I headed for Wal-mart to pick up a couple of items for Breana. My phone rang just as I was getting out of the car; it was Don and he said “ Patti you have to call Craig Beckstrom, he said “ Wendy had taken a turn for the worst. I said Craig, I just talked to Wendy couple of hours ago, she fine!” He said “Patti we are on our way to pick up Breana & take her to the hospital, Wendy is dying” I said “ there has to be a mistake.” I ran back to my car & headed for home, I was sobbing saying “Please God don’t let her die!” I ran into the house to get the paper her number was on and started Dialing. A nurse answered and I said “Hi, this is Patti Stowell, Wendy Patterson’s mother, I understand that Wendy is having some problems.” the nurse said “Where are you?” I said “home”, she said Where is home? I said “Payette Idaho” she said “Are you alone” I said “No my husbands here, but Please don’t tell me my daughter died!” She said “ She died” It was like someone hit me in the stomach. I said “NO, I JUST TALKED WITH HER!!!!! SHE IS FINE!!!!” I don’t know how long I kept telling her she is find. Then I got control of myself and said “What happened?” they told me it was a blood clot, I said I want to talk to the person who was with her ! They said they would have him call me.
Don was holding me in his arms so tight, tears were streaming down my cheeks. I just kept saying No, No, No, not Wendy.......I knew I had to straighten up, I had to call my kids, I started calling Kari; No answer, Tracy, No answer, Amy, No answer, Dustin was at the store picking up Caleb’s birthday car. I was crying so hard I could hardly get the words out. “Dustin, Wendy died.” Dustin could hardly believe what I was saying. I told him she had died from a blood clot .I told him I would get back to him to let him know. I started calling the girls again, still no answer. I finally got a hold of Maureen Wilkinson , Kari’s mother in law and asked her if she could gold get a hold of Kari and told her to let her know , Wendy died and to call me. I called Brandon, I did not want to be the one to tell him but he had to know. He was quiet and he knew something was wrong. I wish I could have been face to face with him, so I could have held him in my arms. .I then had to tell my parents their precious granddaughter Wendy died; they were looking so forward to having her move to Payette.
ReplyDeleteWhen I walked into their house, I said mom Dad come sit down I have something to tell you. Mom looked at me and said “What’s wrong?” I started to cry and said Mom Please come sit down. She said “is it Harvey?” I knelt down by her knees and looked at her sobbing saying , “Mom it is Wendy, She died.” And we have to go to Salt Lake right now. I will make sure people are here to take care of you but I have to go be with Brandon, Breana.& Riley They need me. I will let you know when we get there.
Don & I went down & rented a van as we knew we would be bring Breana back with us. .I called my friend Lana Haney to tell her what happened and could she please call everyone to cancel the Christmas Party. I threw clothes into a suit case, I was not even thinking of what to wear for the funeral. Don & I started to drive, Kari called me and I told her I could not get a hold of Tracy or Amy. She said she would. I called my friends Nola, Emily, Bev Schorzman asked her to call some of Wendy’s friends to let them know in CD’A, I called Lee Hansen asked her to call people in Bellevue. Call Sandy Arredondo to let her know. Called my cousin Dennis, my cousin Doug. It made the trip go faster. We arrived in Salt Lake City, Amy was flying in Tracy & Ray were driving Kari & Matt were driving with the family. I prayed “Dear Father in Heaven Please protect all my family, help them get here safely, I can not bare to loose another child. .” As each one of my children showed up I hugged them like I have never hugged them before. I felt like a mother hen who spreads her wings so her chicks run under her for their protection.
The next day we were to meet at the funeral home but I told Don I first wanted to go to the hospital so I can see the room where I talked to Wendy last. When we got there the nurses were very serious when I said “We are Wendy’s parents, we want to see the room our daughter was in. We were taken down the hall and they had moved out all the furniture and was scrubbing things down. I went over to the bed and put my head down and started to cry, I looked at the pictures to see what she looked at in those last five days of her life. I wanted her back so bad.
ReplyDeleteWe also had to get the police report. I looked at the name of the woman responsible for the death of my daughter and wondered does she even know that accident to caused took a life?
When we saw Wendy dressed in her temple clothes it brought peace to my mind that my daughter had taken out her endowments before she left this world. She did not look like Wendy and the first thing out of my mouth, not thinking was “Oh My gosh Wendy would die if she could saw what she looks like” Amy said “Mom she did die” We started to laugh at such a stupid comment and Amy ran out to get a makeup bag and I don’t know if it was Wendy’s or Amy. We all started working on her to make her look like Wendy. There is a precious picture of Breana with her cute pregnant belly sticking out over Wendy’s casket as Breana was fixing her mom’s hair. I know that Wendy had to of held Breana’s baby before he came to earth. So many tender things to remember. That night Nola’s daughter Pam came and Emily’s daughter Barbara came. For such a short notice to see and feel the love & support of family & friends.
The chapel was packed with so many friends of Wendy. Tracy had grabbed a ton of pictures of Wendy & had a display of “Our” precious Wendy. I was so thankful, she did that. It was fun to look at the memories. I was so proud of all my children getting up and saying something about Wendy, and even Brandon. It really was a celebration of her life and all of us were glad we had apart of her dash.
After the funeral, we did not bury her until the next day. Wendy’s Relief Society had a wonderful luncheon for everyone who stayed. That night we went to Wendy’s apartment and started going through her things. I remember picking up her close and smelling them just so I felt her. I still could not believe she was gone.......You should never have to bury your children, they are suppose to out live you.......I am grateful for Kari & her family who followed us home and we took off shopping for Christmas presents on Christmas Eve. We threw together a very spiritual & loving Christmas and knew Wendy was excited spending her first Christmas with our elder brother Jesus Christ. . Wendy has allot of wonderful family members to hang out with up there and I am sure she is keeping them laughing........ I miss you Wendy, thanks for letting me feel your spirit so strong each time I go to the Temple. It won’t be long and we will be together again.
Thank you Tracy for putting together this Blog, it helped me express so much of my feelings. You will always be my Sunshine daughter, I love you.
Oh man.... I miss me mom so much just about now.... I wish she was here... Life isn't fair. I keep thinking how am I going to do it? How am I going to grow up not having my mom to call and talk to whenever I'm sad or even excited about something? 3 years has seemed like forever she's been gone... I can't imagine how my lifetime will feel.
ReplyDeleteI can not imagine not having a mom, I am fortunate to have my mother, your great grandma still here at 91 years Old. How blessed my children, grandchildren & great grandchildren have been. Bree you have wonderful Aunties who shared their life with your Mom and well as me, your grandma. No one can ever replace your mom, my daughter & a sister. but know Breana we are all here for you to call or talk to whenever your are sad or excited about something. Your Aunt Deborah lost her mother at a very young age. She knows how it feels. I can never replace her Mom but I love her like a daughter. Your Mom knows what you are going through, she is as close to you as the breeze you feel on your face. Your Mom wants you to have a wonderful life and she will be your strongest supporter, you can make your life magical Breana. We can help keep your Mom alive to your children through pictures and stories. Life is just a dash of our existance. It is hard for me to believe, my first granddaughter will be twenty in a couple of months. Soon you will say "Where did the years go" Just ask your Auntie Kari & Tracy, getting closer to having all their children gone from the nest . I love you Breana and we can all help make you have a wonderful time. It begins with you! Believe!
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